Three Things I Learned in Japan That Changed My Perspective

Fuji-san rises above Lake Ashi. The torii gate invites you to embrace peace and respect nature.

It’s a big milestone year for us – several notable birthdays, graduations, and celebrating 25 years of being married to my best friend and love of my life. When my son suggested we travel to Japan to honor such a momentous year, we said “hai!”

For the next several months we planned the trip, researched the culture, the food, the history, the sights. I switched my Duolingo course to Japanese and found a tutor online to help me practice.  As our departure date neared, we got excited! We packed our bags, prepared to adjust to the time change, and suddenly found ourselves eating egg sandos outside a 711 in Shibuya.

We didn’t just bring home sunscreen, face masks, and Pokemon cards.

Here are three things that I learned – but there are so many more.

1. The Japanese language doesn’t have a future tense. At first, I wondered how that reflected their culture’s sense of time, or their understanding of their place in the world. If they are very focused on the present, does that make them savor it more? Or are they a seriously YOLO country? Turns out my speculation wasn’t new, but it also wasn’t accurate. Their verbs don’t have a future tense, but they use other words to mark time. It’s so important not to assume things about cultures, or people, but to listen and learn.
2. It is possible to have clean cities. Yep, it can be done. Japan’s cities are the largest in the world. And they are so incredibly clean. They don’t have trash bins every few feet. YOU are responsible for carrying the waste you create. This made us very thoughtful and aware. One morning I birded along the Kamo River in Kyoto and saw a man cleaning litter from the river. This attitude of cleanliness shows respect for your home, your neighbors, your world. You can do this in your city. We can do this in our city. We don’t need to live in communities with trash everywhere. Start today by cleaning up your own neighborhood.
3. Gratitude is essential. I knew I would not become fluent in Japanese in six months. But I hoped to learn enough to be polite and respectful. Two essential phrases that I learned and loved using were “itadakimasu” and “gochisosama-deshita.” You say itadakimasu before a meal, and it means something like “I humbly receive this” or “I’m grateful for this food.” After eating, say gochisousama-deshita. Again, it means thank you for this meal. Whenever we said these simple phrases, the servers and staff smiled with delight. We felt happy in return. We began to look forward to these moments before and after meals when we could make someone happy by expressing our thanks, and feel happy in response to their joy!! Even know I can feel myself smiling remembering people’s responses to these simple acts of gratitude.

Words, as we know, have so much power. There’s also a special phrase to thank someone who hosts you at their home, or an inn, or ryokan. When I used it, again people were visibly delighted.

We learned so much from our time in Japan. (Learning vacations are a thing with us). My son described the experience as “paradigm shifting.” I know we will move forward in our lives with these new perspectives guiding us.