Super helpful suggestions from my critique partners!

a poster that says why do writers write with answers like to share our feelings, to laugh, to share our experiences

I am so grateful for the super helpful suggestions I get from my critique partners.

It can be so hard to find a great critique group. At a creativity meeting back in March, a friend said to me that they tried out a new group and felt a little frustrated that people were too nice and not really digging in to help group members get better.

I understood how she felt. I don’t need people to be nice. I need people to tell me what’s not working.

I’m not generally too nice. In fact, I am working hard to be more tactful with my critique feedback. I think a good critique group means the members trust each other, understand the goals of each writer, and truly want each member to create their best work.

Here’s some excellent feedback I’ve received from my wonderful critique partners. I hope these comments help you, too!

  • From an adult critique partner on a picture book:

“I realize you bring back the original narrator’s story here, but I still think they are two different stories.”

Sometimes we pack too much information into one story. Other times we lose focus on the main story. Do you have two stories that should be separate? 

  • From an adult critique partner on a picture book:

“…this line stood out, it sounds too didactic and fact telling.”

Didactic means teaching, especially with a moral motive. The best stories tell, and they can have a message. But has your story become too focused on a lesson as opposed to the narrative journey? 

  • From an adult reader on a short story:

“This sentence doesn’t quite work for me.”

Sometimes we write things that WE love, but our readers don’t. When you’re in critique group and someone says this, how do you react? Do you defend your writing? Or do you think, if this reader doesn’t get what I’m trying to say, how can I make it more clear? 

Remember, a critique partner isn’t trying to make you feel bad, they are trying to help you write GOOD! Or, well. You know what I mean. But if you don’t, then I need to go back and revise!


You may know I provide editorial and critique services both independently and on Reedsy. If you’re writing a story or book and would like proofreading, copyediting, critique, or feedback please get in touch!

Books and Board Games – for Bee Lovers

Nothing is sweeter than a good book. Or maybe a fun board game. Or maybe a spoonful of honey?

(Did you know one bee will make one tablespoon of honey in its entire lift!)

Combine all three and you have something special! Yes, I love bees. I know they can be scary to some people, but honeybees are vegetarian and they feed themselves without harming or killing another living thing. In fact, they help create more plants in the act of foraging! Can you say you help out nature that much?

To really appreciate how sweet bees are and how much we need to help them, start by reading these two books.

Honeybee: The Busy Life of Apis Mellifera by Candace Fleming

This award-winning book is a masterpiece in nonfiction.

The Broken Bees’ Nest by Lydia Lukidis 

Lydia is a friend and a critique partner. She loves bees!

Once you’ve learned to appreciate how special bees are, it’s time to really see things from their perspective and play Honey Buzz.

Honey Buzz was recommended to me by Phil, the owner of our local gaming store, Game Masters. Phil knows how much I love science and nature based gaming. He suggested I get the premium edition of Honey Buzz. One reason was because it comes with fuzzy worker bees – and he was right! I loved those fuzzy buzzy little girls.

This game has only two parts to every turn, but there are lot of jobs to do – just like in a real beehive!

I don’t keep bees, but I did take a beekeeping course during the pandemic. And my oldest son and I did an intro to beekeeping lesson at a local college. I was really amazed at how calm he was taking the combs in and out of the beekeeping boxes.

 

 

I’ve always wanted to write a book about bees, maybe playing this game will help me!

sketch of different bee faces

As always, if you want to learn how to play, I recommend checking out “Watch It Played” on YouTube. Also, BoardGameGeek offers a lot of great recommendations and Q&A.

Once you decide you want to buy a game, please look around for a local board game store!

For more book recommendations, I ALWAYS recommend visiting and buying from your local bookstore. One way you can buy online and support a local store is by shopping through Bookshop.org.

The Most Useful Critique Comments I’ve Gotten This Month

A kid running.

Getting critique advice is a lot like getting running advice.

It can be scary to get your story critiqued. I remember some of my first critiques on some of the first stories I ever wrote – brutal. It was hard, but I told myself to trust the process and take the comments the same way I took advice from my running coach. This will help me get better, I told myself.

A lot about the critique process has to do with your relationship with the critiquer. You need to trust that they are here to help you, that they want you to succeed, and that they believe you can do this!! They believe IN YOU! And so do I.

  • From an adult critique partner on a picture book:

“I would omit. It’s much stronger to end this spread with a question that begs a page turn.”

Do you really need that sentence? It’s so hard to delete words! But page turns are essential in picture books, so focus on making those irresistible. 

  • From an adult critique partner on a picture book about a caring teacher:

“I think your opening needs work. This paragraph has two weak verbs, which tells me there isn’t enough action.”

Does your opening grab their attention? Especially with picture books, we only have a brief moment to capture the curiosity of our readers.  Can you make it stronger?

  • I have a picture book set in a local business. My 15 yr old and I stopped by one day after he read my draft.

“Take note of how this place sounds for your book.”

Have you engage all of the senses? Beyond what they look like, make sure your reader knows how things sound, smell, feel, taste. Our brains crave those details and it will immerse readers in your story. Use all the sensory details that you can. 

  • From an adult reader on a picture book about a traumatic event:

“I wonder if this should be moved up to the first spread. It is definitely a page turner and amps up the tension.”

Are you getting the same kind of feedback across multiple stories? Uh oh. This sounds familiar. It’s the same problem that I shared in point 2! This sounds like I have a habit of starting in a weak spot in the story and ramping up a few pages in, so I’ll pay attention to that in future drafts! 


You may know I provide editorial and critique services both independently and on Reedsy. If you’re writing a story or book and would like proofreading, copyediting, critique, or feedback please get in touch!

Animal Allies Longlisted for Green Earth Book Award from The Nature Generation

a collection of books nominated for 2023 Green Book Award

I’m so excited that my book Animal Allies: 15 Amazing Women in Wildlife Research is long listed for the Green Earth Book Award presented by the Nature Generation. 

This collection of incredible books includes a wide range of topics and has something for every age group, and plenty of choices whether you love fiction or nonfiction or both!

Check out the full list here 

The winners will be announced on Earth Day, April 22, 2023. But the real winners are the young readers who have so many amazing choices to inspire and support their commitment to protecting our planet.

If you’re a teacher or librarian or community program leader looking for a grant to help students work on an environmental or conservation focused project, check out the Nature Generation’s SEED Grants! 

 

Upcoming Events! April 2023

Here are some upcoming events for April 2023!

 

 

Books and Board Games – for Bird Lovers

Two things I love are books and board games. But I also love card games, dice games, even games where you try and bounce ping pong balls into a pattern.

So, while books and board games has nice alliteration, I’m open to all kinds of games.

This perfect pairing of books and board games is all about another one of my favorite hobbies: BIRDING!!

I have lots of books on birds, but I tried to limit the recommendation to three. And because I write for young (and young at heart) readers, these books work for all age groups.

Drum roll please! They are:

Look Up! Bird-Watching in Your Own Backyard by Annette LeBlanc Cate.

 

 

Counting Birds: The Idea that Helped Save our Feathered Friends by Heidi E.Y. Stemple

(Did you know Heidi is the little girl in the classic book Owl Moon by Jane Yolen?)

The Triumphant Tale of the House Sparrow by Jan Thornhill

Each one of these books is a great way to celebrate your love of birds and learn something new. Now, once you finish reading them, you’re going to want MORE BIRDS. What better way to have fun with feathered friends than to play a board game all about birds?

That’s right, I’m talking about the award-winning Wingspan by Elizabeth Hargrave. 

(Yes, I know who created this game! That’s not always true for every board game, but Elizabeth Hargrave is one of my heroes!)

 

Wingspan can be a challenge for younger gamers to learn if they haven’t played engine building games before. But it’s really beautiful to look at even if you don’t quite grasp the game mechanics the first time through. And, it’s a wealth of information about birds. There are several expansion packs available and many people make custom upgrades for your gaming experience.

I’ve had this game for a few years and I am proud to say that the first time we played, I won! My favorite card was of course, a red-tailed hawk.

 

I’m not going to provide a how-to-play tutorial here. Instead, I recommend checking out “Watch It Played” on YouTube. Also, BoardGameGeek offers a lot of great recommendations and Q&A.

Once you decide you want to buy a game, please look around for a local board game store! 

For more book recommendations, I ALWAYS recommend visiting and buying from your local bookstore. One way you can buy online and support a local store is by shopping through Bookshop.org.

The Best Critique Comments I’ve Gotten This Month

I’m so lucky I have amazing critique partners. They are generous with their time and expertise and so honest about what parts of the story need work. They are also really, really interested in helping me make my work better. And they never forget to leave a kind comment!

I participate in webinars and group critique events frequently. I have found that even when my story isn’t the one being critiqued, I can learn something from comments made on other people’s work!

So here are some critique comments I’ve received recently that helped me. I hope they can help you!

  • From my 13 yr old on a manuscript about owls and the power of an caring teacher:

“I loved how sad you made me feel here. But I want to feel happier at the end.”

Are you giving readers the emotional reward they want?

  • From an adult critique partner on the same story:

“Your story has me thinking about perspective. So far your story is third person omniscient. Here it switches to [the main character’s] perspective, which is a little confusing. I’d keep it in 3rd person. I’ve edited to show you what I mean.”

Have you shifted perspective without realizing it?

  • From an adult critique partner on a story about a traumatic event:

“This is nice, a bit of levity after a serious thing just happened.”

Especially when you write for younger readers, are you giving them some solace after tough moments?

  • A really important piece of feedback from the same critique partner on the same story:

“Overall, I felt like it was a prematurely sweet ending. You presented this heavy topic, [character] bringing in something dangerous that could hurt people. But then the next day, he’s coloring next to his best friend and smiling. It doesn’t seem realistic and feels contrived…Also, I keep wondering and WHY [character did this]?? You need to have a clear idea about this, what was his intention? You don’t mention it at all but I think it’s important.”

Readers need to be satisfied in the story. But sometimes you can’t fit everything you want to say into the story and still make it a readable story. I made some tweaks to the story, but I think the best way to resolve this would be to write up my back matter and have it ready when I send it to my agent or editor. 

Hopefully some of these critique comments will help you strengthen your stories. I know they are helping me!


You may know I provide editorial and critique services both independently and on Reedsy. If you’re writing a story or book and would like proofreading, copyediting, critique, or feedback please get in touch!